Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
