things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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