discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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