The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
