I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
