ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
