john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
