Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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