It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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