There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
