I skipped work to stalk him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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