i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
