I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
