sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
