Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
