Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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