I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
