Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
