Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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