My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
