I think I died a long time ago.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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