Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
