We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
