Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
