shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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