even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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