It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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