this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
