matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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