So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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