I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
