it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
