I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ketchup is God's man juice
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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