I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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