Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
