Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
