I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
