Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
