and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
