Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My ass is underappreciated
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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