Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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