hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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