You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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