I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
