Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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