I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found the puke drawer
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
