Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
