o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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