you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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