the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
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He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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